Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
