Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
