I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
