This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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