i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
