My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
