i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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