I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
