shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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