I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
