I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
