I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
