Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
