Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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