Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize