Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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