I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
