It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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