Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
