YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
