awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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