ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
