do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
