piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
