this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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