We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
