I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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