He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just want nice things and good sex
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
