dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
