what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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