Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
A bitchslap is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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