his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
