Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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