I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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