so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
