im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
