i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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