I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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