something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
