i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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