So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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