he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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