Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun

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  (908): I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun http://tfl.nu/9z1c
  Replies (16) Good night (3163) Bad night (542)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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  (510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg
  Replies (10) Good night (5712) Bad night (652)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?

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  (646): Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP? http://tfl.nu/u40s
  Replies (154) Good night (11841) Bad night (2124)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (9105) Bad night (1085)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

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  (618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n
  Replies (16) Good night (4620) Bad night (2009)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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  (608): Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard. http://tfl.nu/diwn
  Replies (15) Good night (4594) Bad night (1074)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

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  (901): i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life http://tfl.nu/drtj
  Replies (6) Good night (6281) Bad night (806)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.

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  (253): I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end. http://tfl.nu/6ben
  Replies (9) Good night (3320) Bad night (900)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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  (954): The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that http://tfl.nu/l3dv
  Replies (9) Good night (890) Bad night (509)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money

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  (716): So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed. (1-716): Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money http://tfl.nu/8jhe
  Replies (9) Good night (2788) Bad night (448)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.

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  (207): I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night. http://tfl.nu/1vni
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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  (937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1179) Bad night (360)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...

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  (706): I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up... http://tfl.nu/4p4z
  Replies (8) Good night (1469) Bad night (428)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soon, soon....

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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  (732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (545)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy

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  (720): Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy http://tfl.nu/3y1o
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (226)

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