Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...

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  (619): So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way... http://tfl.nu/ma03
  Replies (13) Good night (597) Bad night (1014)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!

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  (516): I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up! http://tfl.nu/z9ns
  Replies (45) Good night (4912) Bad night (924)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.

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  (224): The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal. http://tfl.nu/xpa1
  Replies (23) Good night (789) Bad night (4448)
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  (714): View more from California

  Being a girl sucks.

  (949): View more from California

  Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too

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  (714): Being a girl sucks. (949): Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too http://tfl.nu/5qxe
  Replies (39) Good night (4995) Bad night (1225)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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  (757): tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning? http://tfl.nu/fo3m
  Replies (24) Good night (5364) Bad night (1144)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

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  (913): I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week. http://tfl.nu/re6m
  Replies (15) Good night (3809) Bad night (1202)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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  (434): my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life. http://tfl.nu/qxwb
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (2413)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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  (727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y
  Replies (3) Good night (2732) Bad night (1381)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance

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  (708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance http://tfl.nu/osk3
  Replies (4) Good night (3315) Bad night (714)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?

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  (716): Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose? http://tfl.nu/8x2f
  Replies (13) Good night (842) Bad night (1712)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious

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  (360): Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious http://tfl.nu/bk41
  Replies (2) Good night (1206) Bad night (650)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.

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  (603): Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride. http://tfl.nu/at65
  Replies (6) Good night (917) Bad night (510)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors

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  (212): Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors http://tfl.nu/gwrw
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (355)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..

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  (801): I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in.. http://tfl.nu/mgsn
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (170)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.

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  (630): I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING. http://tfl.nu/bm49
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (206)

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