Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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  (847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d
  Replies (25) Good night (450) Bad night (2765)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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  (336): Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh. http://tfl.nu/7dtp
  Replies (34) Good night (654) Bad night (3468) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.

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  (636): Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning. http://tfl.nu/gyoc
  Replies (10) Good night (4369) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position

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  (513): why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position http://tfl.nu/vjj2
  Replies (34) Good night (15167) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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  (201): she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart http://tfl.nu/a2u7
  Replies (18) Good night (4413) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.

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  (910): He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment. http://tfl.nu/t1og
  Replies (9) Good night (1604) Bad night (3150) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left

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  (925): you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left http://tfl.nu/56sv
  Replies (4) Good night (3480) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy

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  (228): i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy http://tfl.nu/ftf6
  Replies (1) Good night (2408) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes

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  (419): i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes http://tfl.nu/0ze1
  Replies (6) Good night (1780) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Damn you and your Monday night power hours.

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  (207): Damn you and your Monday night power hours. http://tfl.nu/3ta4
  Replies (2) Good night (1327) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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  (248): We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens http://tfl.nu/5a7g
  Replies (18) Good night (2038) Bad night (643)
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  (760): View more from California

  Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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  (760): Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t. http://tfl.nu/80lo
  Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.

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  (908): I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling. http://tfl.nu/t9ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

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  (307): Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS. http://tfl.nu/6kx3
  Replies (8) Good night (1317) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.

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  (843): I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow. http://tfl.nu/m6rb
  Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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