Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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  (815) Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off? (1-815) You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it. http://tfl.nu/du1d
  Replies (16) Good night (1637) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1278) Bad night (3844)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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  (817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd
  Replies (11) Good night (1381) Bad night (6247)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my way.

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  (804): my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now. (1-804): I'm on my way. http://tfl.nu/8nvt
  Replies (28) Good night (7340) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.

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  (812): These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now. http://tfl.nu/s4lf
  Replies (7) Good night (1117) Bad night (2836)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.

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  (310): If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/b0h6
  Replies (19) Good night (4872) Bad night (2142)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?

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  (716): how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page? http://tfl.nu/st43
  Replies (19) Good night (963) Bad night (6670)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...

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  (512): Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not... http://tfl.nu/1rqn
  Replies (36) Good night (995) Bad night (7283)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?

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  (317): Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text? http://tfl.nu/5hnv
  Replies (10) Good night (728) Bad night (3442)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...

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  (508): I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ... http://tfl.nu/q441
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (2024)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Boobs speak an international language.

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  (505): Boobs speak an international language. http://tfl.nu/m73t
  Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself

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  (920): hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself http://tfl.nu/vx7o
  Replies (8) Good night (1105) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty

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  (541): Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty http://tfl.nu/qyka
  Replies (10) Good night (737) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You have a very discerning palate.

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  (410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj
  Replies (11) Good night (916) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already

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  (302): Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already http://tfl.nu/utft
  Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (421)

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