Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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