Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
