you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
