So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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