i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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