dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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