did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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