i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
