im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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