so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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