I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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