So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
