Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
