I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
