Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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