You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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