I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
