She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
