Non-Jews are for practice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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