definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
