You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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