i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize