I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
