For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
